packing up.

metaphoric for the rest of my life.  i thought that it would be easier to have this whirlwind. i have been waiting, waiting for two years and suddenly it all comes down to this week. moving, signing, finalizing and in the midst of it, remembering. packing boxes, sorting through pieces of your life.  sorting through memories you thought were sacred, or that maybe meant something.  memories i have been avoiding, but as i sort through and separate piles....."goodwill.....garbage, pack away......."  i am doing the same with the memories and everything i have stuffed for the past few years feels uneasily close to the surface.

aidan and i were discussing memories tonight.  he has a few he "hopes he never forgets."  only eight years old and he realizes the value of the good ones.  i hope he can hold on to those and forget the rest.  he took a little video as we toured the house,   memorializing his favorite climbing tree, his desk/fort under the stairwell, secret hiding spots. my list is just as long. little nursery, his strawberry garden, first steps in our first house, newlyweds full of fresh dreams.  now strangers.  as we grew apart i put more time and energy into our little old house and now as we get ready to say goodbye and move i just wish i could spend a few more days here making a few more memories instead of doing dishes, fretting over messes and the endless list of chores and projects i always had for myself.

the good news is, however, we are not moving far. we will just be moving a few houses down from this one, remaining on second street. i like to think we are taking a little sabbatical.  we are moving into our
lovely neighbors home for the year and already i can feel the arms of the neighborhood wrapped around me with care. and as much as i crave my own place and that feeling that it is "mine" i am looking forward to this time of rest and just being.

 

the house sold.

the couch did too, someone picked it up this weekend. lots of memories on that couch. lots of books read, lots of sick days and naps under our favorite blankets.

(it was a jungle gym too. totally indestructible.)

My bed - someone is picking that up tomorrow. We won't speak of any memories there.

(What did we do before we could unload everything on Craigslist?)

Or for that matter, what did we do before Pinterest - the source of all inspiration these days? This weekend my mom and I loaded up my vehicle with pallets we found on Craigslist because I decided I am not taking my bed with me. I would like a different one. One similar to the bed in the photo below, which yes, I found on Pinterest and I am going to make it. so there.

note the pallet base?

I now have a pile of them waiting for inspiration.

and the headboard? I may have found some old barn wood too.

(Except I do not plan on painting the word love on anything. ever.)

And it is quite possible I am going to get carried away and say "who needs a couch?" and decide to make one of these too. Oh, and BTW, I found an old door to use.

So, in case you haven't noticed, what is quite obviously lacking from this post is a plan for where I will live with this furniture I plan to make. Small detail. Have to focus on what makes me happy, right? Because searching endless rental listings does not inspire me at all. As a matter of fact, this is the exact opposite of what I wanted to do. I wanted to move Aidan into a home. Our own little home where we could start fresh and make daybeds out of pallets if we so desired. (Aidan also has some plans. He sold a bunch of his deck furniture and his basketball hoop with the intent of building a fort in his new backyard and maybe getting a tee-pee. (???) Whatever makes him happy, right?)

Unfortunately that plan is about 6-8 months out now. I toyed with renting an apartment or condo and squirreling away cash, but the thought absolutely depresses me. Not as much for my sake as for Aidan's. He needs to ride his bike in a neighborhood, and play in the grass, not spend his summer shuttling between his parents condos. So I guess we will move twice. We will have two adventures. Make two sets of friends, but we will have grass and sunshine.

So check back - I will let you know where we end up. And this weekend when I should be diligently packing up my house, you might find me with a belt sander and the table saw. (I do believe it will be cheaper and more effective than therapy.)

perfect day

maybe I should rephrase that - perfect moments. the days have been long and weird, but I have had some perfect moments.

like this one.....

and this one.

we have had amazingly warm weather this week and have thoroughly enjoyed it. the warm weather also brings all the neighbors out, so this weekend brought a few awkward conversations as well. "I noticed someone's car isn't in the driveway anymore........." Really? You noticed that? Pure genius you are. Others have been kinder, "We are so sorry to see the 'for sale' sign. please let me know if we can help you with anything........ we love you and little Aidan and are so sorry you have had to go through this." Those times I have to bite my lip so I don't cry. I love my neighborhood, the people here have been so good to me and have been the greatest support over the past two years. No words needed, no expectations for witty conversation, just kindness. dinner. shoveled driveway. glass of wine, or just a quiet nod and wave.

Things are still in limbo, but things are good. Really. I am doing well, we are doing well. We really are. Aidan says it best - peace. just a feeling of peace. peace washing over even in the midst of this hardness. peace that passeth understanding, because i do not understand it, but i am thankful still for it.

house on the market this week.

upstairs = empty

No words yet. But I will borrow those of others.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

i really have nothing to say right now

but i can always round up a few photos of my favorite subjects.

making snowflakes

eating snow. what else?

looks innocent. may be torture, however.

i never posted christmas photos........ maybe soon!

How could I forget?

My Dad had a birthday on Monday.

He is Grandpa and Father extraordinaire.

He also won the annual Jordison poker game.

Very talented man.

Love you and thanks for everything.

snowflakes

this week we had snowflakes.

real ones and paper ones.

made with love.

they create magical shadows on the wall.